Just say no to fear!

Ice sucks.

And I can't ski on it.

I'm not saying that it's icy here at Sunday River, but there are some icy patches along with hard packed areas. I fell down a lot on Tuesday, mostly because I ski from side to side on steeper terrain. When I hit those areas, I tend to slide down the mountain with my skis pointed to the side of the mountain. It's weird and scary so I panic and try to dig in--which achieves exactly nothing. Then I get more panicky and usually fall down. I know I should point my skis downhill and get over it, but taking the plunge is so hard.

Eventually, between the fear of the ice and the fear of falling, I lost my nerve on Tuesday. It was a struggle to keep skiing, but I knew I couldn't give up or I would never go back out again. We ended the day skiing the greens so I would feel better. I tried to go out on Wednesday with a new attitude and it mostly worked. On a few occasions I was even able to point my skis down and glide over the ice rather than try to carve ice sculptures with my skis.

I gave it some thought and realized that part of my problem is that I'm afraid to go fast because I'm afraid that means I'm out of control. And I do like to be in control (now there's an understatement). I rationalize my careful maneuvering down the mountain by saying that I never go faster than I think I am capable of handling. See how responsible I am? But in fact, I'm probably going a lot slower than I have to in order to maintain absolute control and avoid fear.

The key today will be to let go and push the fear off to somewhere else. I will have to look to my teenage son for a clue on that. He's overcome several fears by sheer force of will.

Wish me luck!